Category: Default

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    This one commercial said “Forget everything you know about slip covers,” so I did. And it was a load off my mind. Then the commercial tried to sell slip covers, but I didn’t know what the hell they were.

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    I think Pringles’ initial intention was to make tennis balls. But on the day that the rubber was supposed to show up, a big truck load of potatoes arrived. And Pringles is a laid back company, they said, “Cut ‘em up.”

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    You know, I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just gonna ask where they’re going and hook up with ‘em later.

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    One time a guy handed me a picture, he said “Here’s a picture of me when I was younger.” Every picture of you is when you were younger.

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    I find that a duck’s opinion of me is very much influenced over whether or not I have bread.

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    I like escalators, because an escalator can never break; it can only become stairs. There would never be an “Escalator Temporarily Out of Order” sign. Only an “Escalator Temporarily Stairs… Sorry for the Convenience.”